Fear of failure

The real struggles of a life and health coach

I woke up one morning and I wanted to give up.  Everything was falling apart before my eyes.  The dream that I decided to follow was evaporating.  I didn't have the drive, I didn't have a plan.  I felt lost and alone.

Have you ever been there?  Have you tried to do something you've always wanted to do and seen it fail?  It's a sobering feeling, but a very real one for many people in the world.  They shoot for a target and miss.  They may not even get close.  

I wanted to get real with you and let you know that as a coach, I have very real struggles too.  But I also want to inspire you to keep pushing and keep going.  Just when you think all is lost, if you push just a little harder, there is breakthrough coming.

I was 15 and I had this vision of standing on stage speaking to thousands of people and motivating them to make real lasting change in their lives.  It was a vision that freaked me out and yet it has been hiding in the shadows all my life.  It never really disappeared.  The vision never really made sense to me as I was growing up and figuring what I wanted to be as an adult.  Ironically, each and every job I've taken has pushed me to new limits in what's possible for my life.  Each position drove me closer to making my dream a reality.   

When I said that that vision freaked me out, that was no lie.  I was absolutely terrified to speak in front of a group of people and I would do anything to get out of it.  Yet, I kept seeing myself on stage doing what I love and encouraging people like you to step up, step out, and really go for it.  

In 2014, my life took a significant turn for the worst.  Everything that I trusted in vanished before my eyes.  I felt like life was over and for that time, it was.  I couldn't figure out what happen, why it happened, and how would I ever recover.  I was 41 years old and I didn't think that I should be starting over in life, but there I was.  I lost nearly everything and I had 2 choices to make, quit and give up, or keep going and figure it out.  Those tough times that I went through have helped me get to where I am today and they will keep helping me into the future.  The lessons I learned going through divorce brought me full circle to my dream to help motivate and inspire people like you to reach your full potential.  I went back to school, got my life and health coaching certification and launched my business in 2017.  

It was scary and fun at first.  I quickly got all the clients that I needed to pay the bills.  I figured out how to attract new clients and how to get them to sign up for coaching.  I was high on life and excited to get to do what I loved by investing into my clients the lessons I learned along the way which produced results for me and for others I knew.  My business was having some short term success and then...life happened.  I hurt my shoulder working out and had to stop going to the gym.  I had to take time off for military training, and then I had to have surgery to repair the damage to my shoulder.  Just when things were going great, the bottom fell out.  

My recovery from shoulder surgery took all the energy I had and wiped it out.  I didn't have the ability to go to networking events and when I did, I lost my confidence to attract clients, close deals with them, and talk them into investing in my program.  It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and for a short moment, I wanted to quit.  

Wanting to quit and quitting are two very different actions.  Giving up is not an option for me.  I had to dig deep and figure out what was I going to do.  As a coach, I can never ask a client to do something that I haven't already done myself.  I can't ask them to take action when I can't take action myself.  I have to believe in what I'm doing and it has to provide results.  I have to drink my own Kool-Aid.  

There are 4 tasks that I have to master to have a viable business: attract potential clients, close the deal, coach with confidence and get paid.  If I can't do that, I'll never survive.  I had lost touch with my modal for attracting clients.  What I really needed to do was to get my confidence back.  I began by taking some massive action.  I reached out to past and current clients with an new promotion.  I went to as many networking events as possible and I started speaking about what I am passionate about, which is helping people change their lives.  I see in each and every person I meet, their true potential and I want to bring that out for them.  Before I could bring out their potential, I had to bring out my own.  I cannot inspire someone else until I can inspire myself.  

So, there is good news in this story.  Because I didn't quit and I didn't throw in the towel, I met some really great people and created some new partnerships.  I was able to go from coaching individuals to coaching groups.  My goal in life is to reach 1 million people in my lifetime and to improve their lives as much as possible.  I want them to see themselves the way God sees them.  He sees them as fully capable of more than they are doing now and I want to help get that message across and really help stretch them to new heights.  My goal to reach them, will ultimately lead back to the vision that I had at 15.  I will be on a stage some day inspiring thousands of men and women to make the necessary changes in their lives to become who they were meant to be.  

The only thing that's special about me is that I won't quit trying.  I hope that you will take that mantel and run with it.  You can do it.  You have everything you need inside you.  You just have to find it.